It's Hard Letting Go
by With The Ocean In Our Arms
Summary: Peeta thought everything was going to be alright but he might have spoken too soon. Set before Epilogue.


Peeta had left the house before Katniss had woken up, hoping to continue the finishing touches to the rebuilt bakery. For the first time in weeks he'd managed to get uninterrupted sleep and Peeta felt refreshed in the brisk morning air. His bakery was almost back to its former glory and as he painted the walls he couldn't help but feel that everything was getting better.

Satisfied with his morning's work and hands covered with paint, Peeta made his way back to Victor's Village. Despite the icy morning air, it was still pleasant and the rays of the sun went a long way to offset the chill. As he entered Victor's Village he could hear Haymitch's geese honking in the distance. Peeta passed his former mentor's house wondering how the man was holding up. The last time they'd seen Haymitch he had been relatively sober, or as sober as Haymitch ever seemed to get anyway. Just as Peeta changed his direction to the nearest door to check on his neighbour, the man himself appeared at the window and pulled it open.

"Good morning Haymitch." Peeta said politely. Ever since he'd been back from the capitol he'd felt vaguely uncomfortable around the older man which had manifested into hesitant politeness every time they spoke.

"Hello Peeta." Haymitch replied with a curt nod and a small smile, "Been working in the bakery?"

"Yes, a few more coats of paint and it should be ready." Peeta answered, trying his hardest to return the smile without looking like he was trying too hard, "How are your geese?"

"Loud and stupid..." Haymitch grumbled as he poured the contents of a glass bowl onto the grass between them. "I haven't seen you love birds out lately. Is everything ok?" He asked, deliberately avoiding Peeta's eyes and busying himself with another liquid filled container.

"We're okay." Peeta said softly, glancing towards the house he and Katniss shared, "Well at least I am. You know Katniss, she isn't one for sharing."

"That is very true." Haymitch agreed, "That girl is – "

An ear splitting scream had shattered the peace of the morning and cut off the rest of Haymitch's sentence. Immediately, Peeta's blood ran cold. He forgot about the grass tickling his ankles and the warmth of the sun against his skin. He was back in the minuscule capitol cell. There was a broken pipe digging into his back and frigid concrete surrounding him. Screams filled the air almost as thickly as the smell of blood. With his head full of confusing, shiny memories he could hardly even remember his name. He sure as hell couldn't remember why he was trapped in this hellhole. Suddenly hands were on his shoulders shaking him vigorously and Haymitch's face swam in front of him.

"Peeta, not real..." He was yelling, his face contorting grotesquely against the cell's concrete walls.

"Not real." Peeta repeated with determination, focusing all of his thought on the hands on his shoulders, "It's not real. Not real."

After a few seconds of the not real mantra, Peeta snapped back to himself. The screams were gone and so was the uncomfortable coldness, replaced by the honking of Haymitch's geese and the warmth of the morning sun.

"Sorry..." He croaked, ducking his head to avoid Haymitch's eyes.

"It's alright." Haymitch replied, his hands sliding off Peeta's shoulders, "Katniss was just having a nightmare."

"I'd better go and see if she's ok." Peeta answered back. Without looking at the older man again, he turned on his heels and walked as fast as he could without breaking into a run. As he reached the door of his house, his face began to glow red with embarrassment and shame. That was the worst flash back he'd had in weeks and the only silver lining he could find was that Haymitch had shaken him out of it before it got too far.

* * *

Peeta made sure that his breathing stayed even while he slipped inside the front door. Once the door shut however, he sunk to his knees and let out a frustrated moan. He couldn't believe he let his flashback be triggered by a scream and he couldn't believe he'd had one in front of Haymitch. All things considered though, Peeta couldn't help but feel sort of relieved that it had stopped at a flashback and didn't progress into a full blown, Tracker Jacker induced episode. After a few more deep breaths to relieve the tightness of his chest, he got to his feet and slid his coat off.

A sudden meow broke him of his thoughts and he glanced down to see Buttercup at his feet. Despite Katniss' many issues with the cat, Peeta actually liked him and went out of his way to give him affection. Usually Buttercup was happy to see him but today all he could do was yowl desperately, weaving himself around Peeta's ankles. When Peeta leant down to try to pet him, the cat moved towards the stairs, continuing to make those horrible sounds.

"What's the matter?" Peeta asked with frown as he started to follow. There were no sounds of anguish coming from upstairs so he wasn't sure if the cat was going to lead him to Katniss or another threat within the house. As they reached the top stair, the cat turned towards the bedroom's half open door and Peeta understood. Katniss had suffered from terrible nightmares for a long time. Often she would scream herself awake but be fine once she realized that everything was ok and other times the nightmares were so terrible that she became cationic and trapped in the horrors of her mind.

Sure enough, when he pushed open the heavy wood of the door, he found Katniss curled up in the middle of the bed staring blankly at the window. Peeta took a step forward and almost stepped on Buttercup, causing a loud hiss to emit from the scraggly feline.

"I'm sorry..." He called to Buttercup as he retreated. There was no comment about his clumsiness, which was an opportunity Katniss hardly ever let pass. She remained curled in a ball, seemingly unaware of his presence.

* * *

**A/N- I got sick of re-writing this so I posted it. I hope you enjoy it. There will be more chapters in the future. Please review. **


End file.
